Now that I’m done breastfeeding I’m on a mission to lose the last 10 pounds. And now that I’m done I can finally start tracking my calories (I don’t recommend calorie counting or attempting to lose weight when you’re breastfeeding unless you’re not getting enough calories or you’re dangerously overweight to begin with. Doctors would tend to agree with this statement). And what better way to do this than with a buddy!
My best buddy (who will only be known as “Gloria” from here on out) is also on a mission to lose some pounds, so we’re doing it together (for more tips, see Working IT post baby). During the last two weeks I guess I’ve said some pretty amusing things to her, including but not limited to:
- Before you start having crazy ass cheat days… I think you need to stick with your daily allotment of calories first.
- Do I need to remind you what the scale said this morning? — When Gloria asked if she could have FroYo as a snack via text. You can bet I immediately called her to talk her out of it.
- You have no business eating cake in the middle of the day, unless it’s your birthday and today…is not that day.
Well, yesterday WAS her birthday and here’s the most awesome email I’ve received from her in a while.
Subject: Cheat Day
Not only did I have a “crazy ass cheat day” as you put it so elloquently…I had a “made myself sick day.” I fell off the diet wagon so hard I broke my ass. And now it will swell up to three times the size it was. And you know what? I deserve it. I feel TERRIBLE. I’m also pretty sure that there is no way to calculate in MyFitnessPal the damage I did to myself tonight.
Not only did I NOT work out today OR yesterday – but I woke up at 5:00 a.m. this morning to catch a damn plane from LAX. I had a breakfast burrito from Andale at the SFO Virgin Terminal around 10:00, which wasn’t so bad. The awesome thing here is that I didn’t just eat the thing right away. I ordered it, took it to go in a bag – then had to change terminals. SO…I had to take my burrito through security. Apparently burritos look like they might be something illegal, even though the TSA agent clearly knew, because she was like “do you have a burrito in here?” (Which, sidenote, is ALSO an amazing thing to have a TSA agent say to you in the security line – I didn’t feel fat at all.) So, I got bag checked and my breakfast had to get swabbed by TSA and run through security again. Let me say that again…THEY TOOK MY BREAKFAST, SWABBED IT AND THEN RAN IT THROUGH X RAY AGAIN. But you know what…I still ate that shit. Because i was starving. It tasted fine – was wrapped in foil and a paper bag – and all the horrible thoughts that I have as a hypocondriac I just pushed out of my mind. That said… I also ate something that was X RAYed today – that can’t be good for me.
I ate my breakfast burrito and then my plane got delayed for 3 hours – apparently your 31st birthday is the one you spend in an airport on your way to a work trip. A milestone of fun. I didn’t eat OR drink anything until 7 p.m. Was so hungry – I can’t even tell you. At dinner – because I am on a work trip with a bunch of dudes – I ate a TON…it was not ok. Though – I still didn’t cave in and have a diet coke though (even though I was craving it like a crack addict), I also avoided the fried calamari and fries with my sandwich (alright…I ate 3 fries from someone else’s plate).
However, when dessert rolled around, and this is where it gets really bad, I had a rootbeer float (it was big) and a HUGE piece of chocolate cake (the guys were super sweet, and had the waiters sing happy birthday to me with cake and a candle – nice guys for reals). Now…i had NO booze, beer or wine this evening -but i do feel like i’m drunk. Drunk on bad, bad calories. I’m serious, the room is spinning. I did not make good choices.
You bet your tiny little ass I’ll be punishing myself tomorrow.
P.S. In case I forget to tell you – this birthday ROCKED.
And there you have it. Think twice before cheating like it’s your birthday… even if it is.
More on healthy eating tips for traveling later… this email was just too good to share in its entirety.